My jokes

Hello my fellow Americans, I'm playing Clash Royale for the USA clan, and two towers are already gone?

The twin towers were like my parents... They never came back.

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut for me.

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.