What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉🤭🤣
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
