Murder jokes
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."