Mother Jokes

I LICK COWS FOR MY MOTHER

My mother said I'm sexy I said no I have cancer

2 brothers were arguing. one went: your an idiot. the other went: your brother a mother. he replied: yeah i know. thanks for agreeing with me

Girl:Can we visit Grandma this weekend Mother: Sure five year old: Look mommy! Two People and they're wearing rope necklaces!

On 1.April there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor out of sudden directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard he can to the wall. The mother crying and yelling "What did you do ? You killed my Baby !! Why did you kill my Baby ?". The doctor just laughes and says "April april it was already dead".

Hahaha

There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves. The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head". The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head". The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

how old is uuuuuurrrr mom. five cringe.... i know that was a crap joke... not even a joke

what dose a homeless man call his mother useless

dmitriy has no mother

Why are there only 362 days in an orphans calendar? They don’t have Fathers, Mothers or family day

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born". The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born" Then the third child, Cinderblock, said "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f"

I have a son. Her name is Zara. I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.

Daddy, Why this red soup is so much sweet? Because you mother had diabetes