Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
ur mom gae
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
why did the goat have an abortion? because she already had too many kids!
a kid was asking a mother for money
mother: sorry I don't have money
the kid kept asking the mother for money
mother: I already told you I don't have money
the kid(the middle child): I'm your fucking child
So i ment up to a Australia girls she look like 20 and i said can i have you phone number sweet heart she saod 696969 i said oh habha ok a few days later her mother called me and said she 15
My son
two geys came in to the bar and said what's um you big faf mother of hell
Why do orphins only have 363 days in year because there is no mother or fathers day
girl: rip mother i love you me: sorry for you’re loss girl: stop I have a boyfriend me: stop I have a mother
Jack and his kids went to the la’e and his mother wants him to go swimming you know what he says to back where you came from
when is fathers day? 9 months before mothers day
Knock knock Who is there Mother Mother who Fuck of bichon I'm your mother
Mom: I apologize Sam for being so mean to you <3
Sam: Thank you mother for your apology.
Mom: jk
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
