Mother jokes

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

My son.

You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.

This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!

Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.

Me: Sorry for your loss.

Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.

Me: Stop, I have a mother.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3

Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.

Mom: jk

When is Father's Day?

Nine months before Mother's Day.

Knock knock.

Who is there?

Mother.

Mother who?

Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!

Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"

20 years later

Johnny: Hey dad.

Dad: Yea?

Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!

Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.

Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.

Dad:...

Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says mo mo.

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

Oliver Savage and Dr. Mummy.

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

"Ur Mater."

I lick cows for my mother.

My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.