Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
I hope Death is a woman.
That way, it will never come for me.
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
