Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
