Mortality jokes
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"