Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
Suicide is population control, republished.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
