Month

Month jokes

Act

    • Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

    Now I got a 31 on the ACT.

    Advice

    • Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

    Time

    • Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

    Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

    Month memes

    Punishment

    • Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.

    Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".

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    • Loop

    • If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

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    • Bet

    • A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

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    • Murder

    • Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.

    She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.

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    • Doctor

    • Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

    So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!

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    • Comedian

    • The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

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    • Period

    • Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

    The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

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    • Lady

    • A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”

    The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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    • OnlyFans

    • Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

    Suicidal man

    • A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

    After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

    After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

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