Month jokes
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the ๐ love of your life!๐
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!๐
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
May.
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
๐ What is as old as the earth ๐ and new every month? The moon.
On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kidโs sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When youโre playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say โThis boy always had a fat assโ.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day Iโm driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!