Mom jokes

Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

Yo mama so rich,

her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.

I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.