Mom jokes

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

Your mom.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

Knock, knock.

You suck my iron with you and mommy.

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

Your mom is so fat, that burger.

Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.