Mom jokes
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
Your mom.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.