Mom jokes

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!

Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Will you remember me in a day?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Will you remember me in a year?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Knock knock.

Mom: Who's there?

Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.

I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.

Kid: Licks money.

Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.

Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.

From your mom.

It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!