Mom Jokes

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

3 year old me on the toilet
waiting for my mom to
wipe my ass

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

Little Herobrine, I'm cumming in ur mom! Call me Saddam Hussein cuz I'm dropping rap bombs!!

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."