Mom jokes

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.

I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.

If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.

Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

What did the cow say to the leather chair?

“Hi Mom!”

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"

Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"

Kid goes to the kitchen.

Mom: What are you doing here?

Kid: Just checking out the knife.

Mom: So you've chosen death.

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.