Mom

Mom jokes

Chicken

Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?

Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."

Bar

What do you expect when you get out of a bar?

Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.

Bartender

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"

Age

I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.

Trash

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

Angel

My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!

Especially in bed...

Sex

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

Cow

There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.

The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"

The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."

The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

Son

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"