Mom jokes

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

Your mom.

Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

The thing my mom birthed.

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

What did the mom say to the baby?

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."

-Mully- This is my mom left!!

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!

Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

Mom: No, that's impossible.

Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific, so I said,

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.