Mom jokes
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
Your mom.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
when my imaginary mom tells me to calm down
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
Your mom is a mom!
Your mom gay.
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.
–Pluto.
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?