Mom jokes
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Your mom.
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
Memes
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
Your mom.
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...