Mom jokes

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!

"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."

"Son, stay out of the drawer."

Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!

Your mom.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?

Kid: Your mom!

Orphan: (cries)

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Your mom gay.

Your mom is a mom!

Mom, I’m pregnant.

Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.

Your mom's a lead, Poe.

Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3

Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.

Mom: jk

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.

You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."