Mom jokes

"Your mom gay.exe" has started working.

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"

Your mom is fat.

Oooo, roasted!

I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!

Especially in bed...

Ur mom gei.

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

I sucked your mom's anus.

There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.

The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"

The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."

The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

Your mom... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Your fat ass mom.

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?

Five.

Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.