Mom

Mom jokes

Bullshit

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Crap

How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?

Five.

Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.

Human

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

Orphan

You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!

Couch

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

Mama

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

Hug

Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

Orphan

Why can’t the orphan tell on people?

Because they got no mom and dad! LOLLL

Math

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

Skinny

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.

Frog

What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.

What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."

Mama

Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

Kidnapping

POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

Somebody

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

Theme Park

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB