Mom

Mom jokes

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.

Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?

Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"

  • 4
  • There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

    Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

  • 6
  • Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?

    Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.

    Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

    Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.