Mom jokes

Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?

Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?

Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"

Way down South: "You awake, mom?"

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

What do my cock and money have in common?

Your mom.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

Me: I will f**k ur mom.

Orphan: I don't have one.

Me: ......

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"

Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."

African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*

The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

Hey, Mom, I am ugly.

"Facts," my mom says.

"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"