Mom jokes

Hey, Mom, I am ugly.

"Facts," my mom says.

"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."

I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.

Your mom #69.

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

Kid: Mom! You lied to me!

Mom: When?

Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!

Mom: Sooo?

Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?

Mom: WHAT!!!??!!

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.