Son: What's for dinner tonight? Mon: Steak! Son: Mom you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me? Mim: HUNGER!
mom: please eat baby! baby: NO! mom: here comes the airplane!
Teenager: "OMG, Iβm prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack 2 weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life) -_-
Your mom checked for your hairline but she could not find it
My mom said if I'm awake playing roblox still she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboardhxhdhduhxbsfj
Mom where are we going To your grandma's funeral Yeah cus i 360 no scoped that bit** in the face.
Me: Mom if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, Okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How was humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher:π
me: Mom the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
What is the difference between me and the twin towers. My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Tell your mom happy last night emoji in my bed
what did the orphan say to its parents? hey mom and dad oh wait ur not my parents i dont have nun will u adopt me pls they people:no
your mom is so fat wen you printid the picshor it wold not stop printingπππ€£π€£
When you see a your mom. Me:bruh Her:are you serious right now bro Me:yeah no shit Her:*slaps me*
Ps. My brother made this up when he had no meds.... I almost died π
What does ATM stand for........
Answer: Amyβs Terrible Mom
ππ€£
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, How his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and HOW he was born. π
bro if you think about it ur mom and god have 1 thing in common... there both big
Rose are red voliets are blue I saw your mom beat you.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOLπ€£
Your mom so fat she fell
