Milk

Milk jokes

Kid

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

Uncle

Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

(AT BED TIME)

Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

Ben: "I'm not."

(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

Memes

Year

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Orphan

The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.

Cup

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

Dad

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

Udder

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!

Boyfriend

Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.

Mom: Meet my boyfriend.

Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?

Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.

Midget

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

Boy

The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"

The Son: "Because milk is important."

The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"

The Boy: "Who?"

The Man: "Your mom?"

The Boy: "I don't have a mom."

The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."

The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.

Cancer

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

Memes

Community

Ive gone to a whole new point of boredom, ive mixed fanta with coca cola and it actually tasted good, cant say the same for the water and milk combination though. I might go outside because its so peaceful since nobody does it anymore.

so like why hasn't matt shut this place down its not like hes getting much ad revenue, plus now its js a buncha bots, like vro whatre u tryna milk outta this place anymore?