Military jokes

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

I joined the military for the group showers.

Two of my grandpas died in WW2.

Their tower fell over.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

How do you sink an American battleship?

Have the French build it.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.

Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.

Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

How did the octopus go to the war?

Well armed.