Military jokes
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout?
I don’t know, I just fly the drone.
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!