Having an abortion will make you so tired.... it literally sucks the life out you.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
Why did the polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife? To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?" Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now." Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff." Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
Nurse: Don't worry i'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yea, i always abort them. Parent:... Parent: Your hired
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam
Doctor: Yup
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor
What does a pizza delivery man and a ginacologist have in common? They can both smell it but they can’t eat it
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood
When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother carl. he got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. when we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. it was pretty cholerious.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked," Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are to sharp."
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
