Medical jokes
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."