Medical condition jokes
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
Weaponization of flashlights
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...
They were shaking in excitement!
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.