Meat jokes
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet. Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.