Meat jokes
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
I'm not gay, dick.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
What did the cat say to the jar of cookies?
"Ground beef!"
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.