Meat jokes
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy? BK doesn’t sell real meat.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.