Meat jokes
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
Memes
The ham is in fact processed
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.