Meal jokes
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What does Aaron eat for breakfast? Food.
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
Memes
shrek has a potato for a nose
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it? Cause it's nacho problem!
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
Never eat more than you can lift.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.