Meal jokes

Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?

"They forgot the stuffing!"

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

You can roast chicken.

What does Aaron eat for breakfast? Food.

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it? Cause it's nacho problem!

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.

Where do you go to get the best fish?

A restaurant on the Titanic.

Never eat more than you can lift.

When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,

just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!

A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.