Meal jokes
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Hm, free food
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What do orphans get at restaurants?
The family meal.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?