Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Parents are like food not all kids get them
What do orphans get at a restaurants?
The family meal
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed i only have a crockpot🤣
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
What does Aaron eat for breakfast? Food.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
