ME jokes

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!

Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.

"CoComelon meme,

No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...

Nobody loves me .v."

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

What did the parents say to the orphans?

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.

"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."

I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Mary."

"Mary who?"

"Marry me!"

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."

I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?

I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.

Why do they call it Ovaltine?

The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)