ME jokes

When an African has a twin, your me??

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.

The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:

"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."

😳

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

We never saw him again.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.

My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)

Man: Could you hold this for me?

Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*

Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!

"You gave me the same sweater as last year."

"You s w e a t e r believe it."

Hey dad, I'm hungry!

Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?

Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.

AKA you're for sale.

Joke: Me.

Me: Knock knock.

Some dude on the street: Who's there?

Me: Whowhowho.

Dude: Whowhowho who?

Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.

I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."

Have you ever heard of the eye tear?

Me either.

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?