ME jokes
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Account for me too, baby👧! Is so cute together with game slot jokes.
Like this if you like me.
Everyone thought I'd have a great year...
14 years just gave me more chances.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."