ME jokes
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
9/11 is like me after I'm finished with my Lego house. I destroy it! 😄🤣
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.
Technoblade!
Please tell me you understand this...
Roses are red,
foxes are red,
I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
"Just because I don't like Lewis Hamilton, doesn't make me racist."
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
Cool kid: I slept with your sister.
Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.
Everyone else: :O