ME jokes
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Yep
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
A ball hit me in the vagina.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.
So people call me poor until they see my bank account.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
When an African has a twin, your me??
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
1273 please kill me, everyone hates me.