ME jokes
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Memes
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."
Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!