ME jokes

Tractor

    • She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

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    • Friend

    • My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."

    Family

    • Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”

    Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”

    Son: “So your friend is gay?”

    Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»

    Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”

    Father loudly: “YES!!!”

    Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”

    Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»

    Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”

    *A few hours later*

    Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”

    Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”

    Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”

    The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».

    *The End* :D

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    • Slap

    • The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

    The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

    Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

    So the Pope slapped him.

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    • Pregnancy

    • What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

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    • ME memes

    Punch

    • When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

    Mum

    • Me: Want to hear a joke?

    Friend: Sure.

    Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

    Friend: What's funny about that?

    Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

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    • Yo mama

    • Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

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    • Orphan

    • Orphans have it lucky.

    When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

    When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

    Egg

    • What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

    They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

    Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

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    • Brother

    • My brothers kept annoying me.

    I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

    It was an empty threat—right after I was done.