ME jokes

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Hey, talk to me here!

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.

Pokemon.

I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!

Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.

I told her, "Do a wheelie!"

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

A B C D E F G H I see a bitch in front of me.

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.