ME jokes
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Memes
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"