ME jokes

What did the plane say to the twin towers?

"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)

Random: What are your hobbies?

Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀

Bro, just imagine being named Brynley. Couldn't be me.

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.