ME jokes
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
A B C D E F G H I see a bitch in front of me.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.