ME jokes
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Memes
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Me: Yโall should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause Iโm going through my own Great Depression.
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
My friend told me an EMO joke once, and I said, "EMO jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didnโt have a fireplace.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3