ME jokes

Store

    • While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

    Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

    Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

    You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

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    • Orphan

    • When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

    Me: You f&*k up.

    The class: Oh sh!&

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • Orphans have it lucky.

    When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

    When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

    ME memes

    Brother

    • My brothers kept annoying me.

    I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

    It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

    Orphan

    • "What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

  • 1

    • Bus

    • So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

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    • Cucumber

    • A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

    Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

    Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

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    • Wish

    • An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."

    "What is it?" she asked.

    "After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.

    "Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.

    "For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.

    "And your final wish?" the genie asked.

    "I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."

  • 1