ME jokes
Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Me and freshfry talking.
Tell me a joke.
My life.
I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*