Many jokes
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?
Answer: Because his mom is a whore!
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
Your mama has slept with so many guys, she's starting to look like one.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.