Man jokes
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."
"That was when I went to Yale."
"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"
"Thanks! I really need this yob!"
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."