Man jokes
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!