Man jokes

They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?

Just hang in there, man.

What is an Emo's favorite game? Hangman!

Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Q: What are women better than men at doing?

A: Winning arguments.

Q: What are men better than women at doing?

A: Winning swimming titles.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

What YouTube channel did Mt. Fuji subscribe to? Chrissy Man.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Why did the man put himself on fire?

To BURN Calories.

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.