Man

Man jokes

God

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Job

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Dog

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

Momma

Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"

Woman

Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.

Memes

Surname

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

Mall

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

Wish

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

Boulder

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

Life

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

Doctor

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

Chip

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

Woman

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Marriage License

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Lesbian couple

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Homeless

Homeless

One day I was walking next to a home less man and he was eating grass I asked him if he was hungry he said yes I said follow me you should of seen his face when I showed him my back yard 😂😂😂😂

Doctor

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."