Man jokes
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
Memes
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What is an Emo's favorite game? Hangman!
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.