Man jokes
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
What YouTube channel did Mt. Fuji subscribe to? Chrissy Man.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Memes
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.