Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Man Jokes
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
