Man jokes

What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?

One Hung Lo.

What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?

They both take it in the back and go woop woop.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Q: What are women better than men at doing?

A: Winning arguments.

Q: What are men better than women at doing?

A: Winning swimming titles.

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

What happened when the man died? Yes.

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Why do gay men hate periods?

They prefer Collins.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.