Man jokes
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
Man, Uranus is so big!
Man, I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
Leo be like: "I like men, yes."
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.