Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
