Man Jokes

What does a man with 20 children do now?

Now he eats sausages even with cellophane

A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."

Whats a crazy mans favorite phrase when he has a knife?

Freak out!

I was walking home then I saw a wait sign a man came and took me I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson

The other day my Girlfriend asked me to hand her, the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am wan kin the chef." I said that I'll come back later

What's the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn't cry when I break it's legs

whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it

A Pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly the man answers I dont wake up the kids.

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

sexy boy mmmmmmmmm yummyyyyyy

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country? A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Michael Jackson likes little boys.

man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard. A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye. Moments later they start chanting 13...13...13...