Man jokes
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Memes
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”