Man jokes
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.