Man jokes
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.