Man jokes
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.