Man

Man jokes

Loan

    • In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

    "Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."

    (Pause)

    "Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."

    "Jeff who?"

    "Bezos."

  • 0

    • Wheelchair

    • A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

  • 1

    • Ad

    • Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.

  • 1

    • King

    • In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

    I mean, I don't see why not.

    Man memes

    Guy

    • A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"

  • 1

    • Homeless

    • This isn't a joke.

    There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

    JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

  • 6

    • Layla

    • A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

    The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

    The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

  • 0

    • Women

    • Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.

  • 1

    • Parent

    • When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

  • 7

    • Nationalist

    • What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?

  • 2

    • Tractor

    • She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

  • 0

    • Twitter

    • A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"

    The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."

  • 2

    • Viagra

    • Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

    Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

  • 1

    • Feminist

    • How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?

    9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.

  • 1

    • Emo kid

    • When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

  • 1