Man jokes
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.